Happy Birthday mama, I love you.
It's your birthday today, I cant lie I thought it was tomorrow.
Lately, I haven't been the greatest daughter because i've been selfish.
Selfish because I've been wanting to spend so much time with you
like the old days - before the stranger , your new husband moved in.
Things aren't like that anymore, I don't belong at home so that's why I don't call it a home.
I'm hardly home. And when I am we're too busy fighting then trying to find something to do.
I just want to be the best daughter ever, if I can't be the best one to the dad then I guess i'm striving to be the best daughter to you. At the end ma, you're really all I've got. You bailed me out so many times , you have so many sleepless nights because you wait for me to come home and you have work the next day and i've been taking all of this for granted. I hate it as much as you do. You're my bestfriend and my blood. You understand me when there's something wrong and you can tell by the smallest things like my facial expressions. I know you probably won't find this letter , asap. And it's so freaking corny but - it doesn't matter how fast the clock ticks, how fast the numbers are countin down to heaven ' but you'll forever be my mother .
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Okay, real talks .. I've got my dreams planned out.
They're only called dreams for now because I still haven't achieved them - But i'm going to do it as soon as possible for everybody elses sake. I'm not good at school , but i'll try my hardest. No road blocks this time. December could be the turning point in my life, the day I could laugh at all the tiny haters and be like - who's laughing now? I'm going to buy my ticket and fly my ass there and do what I've got to do. Don't worry i'm not forgetting about M , he better come with me. I've been loafting on this for so long, I haven't gone last year because of assholes who brought me down - telling me not to leave them. Stfu, I'm done that stupid shit. This summer i've realized the sluggish drinking , blazing , partying life isn't for me AT ALL. I'll be doing it big this year .
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This weekend - week was so fun , me and went back to the trailer
to chill with his cousins. They got pretty wasted blazing and shrooms with emotional talks "bro talks "
and "debates " and some people teared up. Guess what? I was freaking sober and being a fat ass! With light drinking/ blazing ! Lol, I love M's cousin's they're freaking jokes. Shaving peoples heads and what not when they fall asleep. I'm proud to say I got a light tan, M's cousin N told me to use tanning oil and it sort of worked. I don't know what's wrong with my skin I think it deflects heat and light. Need to get my hands on that tanning oil shit when I'm home, home. We swam for like two hours at the lake today it was so fun, I never experienced jumping into falls with rapids and currents floating you away. The con's were the rocks scarring our feet and legs at the bottom but all good it was worth all the scars. I swallowed some water and I think it's making me sick cause alot of people pissed in that lake water, I'm pretty sure . After the lake we had some amazing ice cream ! Ugh, to die for . Pretty live my friends, pretty live.
Well bloggers , I'm getting off this now - cause I know my boyfriend is anxious to read this ginormous post. The end of summer is getting liver and liver.