Trust ? It's getting there - " What kills me, only makes me stronger " In this case it's us.
Our arguments keep growing , growing but it constantly makes US grow.
It's hard when most of the time I feel second place , I'm still trying to let that go
but I JUST can't .. If you're bassicly face to face with this dilemma. Real talks I never felt so insecure in a relationship before, insecure because i'm so scared to lose you. Don't get me wrong , when I say insecure .. I mean I actually care. No offense to any of my exes but I never cared, I never cared like this. Never cared to the point that it made me cry. For the first time I felt the pain, the hurt , the fear. The fear of losing , even though I know I'm not going to. The fact of me just imagining it - it hurts. And you know how I take things to heart? " If he cheated for you, he's going to cheat on you " I read that on a friends note today. Nobody can tell me that, you know why? Cause before this whole relationship started , I thought that over - I was prepared, like sort of preparing to get hurt .. But you've proved me wrong. Despite all the stories or rumors I heard. I've been through being played, I'm not stupid. I'm not like your stupid ex - girlfriend's, i'm not stupid enough to wait for something to happen or sit down and waste my fucking time. It's sill the if's, and's or buts that constantly replay in my head , like a broken record. But soon enough that records going to break down and I won't have to hear it ever again. I admit , i'm cocky .. cocky because i'm gaining that trust , cocky because I have a guy like Michael Manalo.
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On a brighter note - I haven't written about me and my boyfriend's four months on the twenty eight . Kinda late now, but it was awesome. He took me to a fancy resturant called Sasafraz and than we had a double date with Nic and Kevin ;) Cayoote No? He's the best , cause he told me he never done that for a girl before. I love him to peices.
