Deep down inside a monster is eating up, I'm too caught up in trying to find out what will hurt me
and i'm not paying attention to what won't. Trust me, if you were in my situation you would cry every single night. But I won't , cause i'm better than that. Even if I may not cry, I'm hurting so much. It's hurting so much that I don't even know what to do with myself anymore. I try to laugh and smile, but it's all a lie. You always say " why can't you just let the past go? it's before you were in high school , it was before we went out " are you fucking stupid, i know that. AN ex is an ex and it's just not fucking right. I may be younger than you, but i'm not stupid - i know what cross the line means, i know what things can happen. Even your friends think it's weird, if you were in my situation you would be hurting so damn much. Having to lie in bed, thinking about all the possible worst case scenarios that could happen. I WANT to trust you, Honest to God, Swear to God, Swear on US, Swear on my family. But this isn't making it all that easy to trust you. We've been together six months straight and I can't even TRUST you. Every argument that we have is just repeating itself, i'm talking in circles - constantly eating up my own words. There's no point in arguing cause i can't say anything, cause you don't understand. YOU don't understand how much it hurts.
